LITTLE STEPS

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Ever since I was little I've always been pliable, my mind was molded according to my surrounding and people. I had a lot of struggle and conflicts in my early years. Secretly I was condemning myself for not becoming how my family, society wants me to be. I took all their words into consideration and very seriously. 

Comparing myself to the people around me, I realized how very flawed I was, and  wondered why I wasn't like them. I tried my best to fit in. Then as I grew up, I felt the need to stop and question their statements and judgments that they so easily make. Was I so imperfect? Was my nature that bad? In all my actions, I was unconsciously struggling to achieve those set standards. So, it was necessary to question the meaning of perfection itself for which I was willing to throw away my inner peace. Whose definition of perfection was I following? Was it my mother's, father's, relatives, friend's, society's, random stranger's- I was collecting everyone's versions, expectations, no wonder I felt so burdened. 

There were so many versions, so many skills I needed to add in me. Then I wondered if all those people disappeared, what then? I realized I wouldn't change anything, I loved myself and all my imperfections. Everything in me was so alive, and in sync with everything outside-- equally beautiful, vibrant.... colorful. I would just be. I started to reflect on the people they compared me with, and realized it sprang from their desires to attain those standards, I saw the truth hidden behind their deceiving words, how we all do it unconsciously and as I observed more all their masks fell down one by one along with my own.  And then I laughed at how silly it all is, how silly I was to let it affect me.

 Everyone has their own unique perception, but it doesn't mean their definition of success has to match with everyone else's. Therefore, it is important for us to find our own way of life and make sure it wasn't in someway an effect of their expectations. Sometimes their vision of heaven could be your hell.

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